This week was not a challenge, in fact, embracing my new lifestyle was quite simple. Was it too simple? Normally I have my weigh-ins on Sundays, but since my bestie and I are both going to be out of town on Sunday I asked if I can borrow her scale tomorrow.
I have accomplished a lot, well at least in my mind, over the past week. I ran 2 miles in 28 minutes. Do you remember that girl or guy in high school that on the mile run day they were dreading going to class because they already knew that they were going to be the last person in off the track? Yeah… that was me. Did not feel good at all. In fact, it made me quite self conscious.
So the question now is, did I lose anything this week? I am hoping for a pound. That’s all!
Being over weight I’ve always felt like my body wasn’t my own. I’ve always wanted to change it. I know what it feels like for people to judge you, and think that your not normal. I remember watching a documentary about transgenders and thinking that’s how I feel about my body. Now I would never want to change my gender I love being a girl, and if you know me you know how girlie I am. It’s about feeling out of place and like you have no control.
I think that some might argue that I have it better off because I can change. But it’s so hard to change your body! You push and push and your own body fights you the whole way. Sometimes I think it would be easier to have an operation and take some pills. But the point is, at least for me, it’s more than your body, it’s how you feel about yourself. When I was younger I was really depressed about my weight and how I looked. It’s so hard when everyone around you tells you that you should be different-that no one will love you the way you are. You feel like such a disappointment. When I got older I realized that its not about other people. It’s not about what my body looks like really. It’s about finding what makes you happy. It’s about changing the way you view yourself before anything physical can change. To be honest, for some, its a hard journey find what makes you happy, and for some its starring you in the face the whole time. Find what makes you happy and embrace it. Mix it into everything you do, and eventually it will drown out the darkness. It gets better.
This is my happy place socutephoto.com. Whats yours?
Everyday I go into work and work on my role as a MARKETING SUPERSTAR! Half way through the day I typically head to the gym before heading home to finish my work day. Today on the other-hand, I decided to stay at work and work in an empty desk in the IT department. As you can imagine, being a company that is technology based, there is A LOT of traffic past this empty desk… well at least more than my morning office. I typically bring 3 bags to work:
- Laptop Case
Well today I decided to bring in my gym bag so I could workout on my lunch (kinda changed my mind, but I’m going to the gym with my cuzzo after work so it’s all cool). Then I left a whole bunch of stuff at one of my besties houses on Sunday and another bag magically appears.
Obviously my new lifestyle is becoming apparent to people within the company because I just had another employee ask if I was becoming a crazy bag lady… smh. Maybe I am… but I am getting my life together while doing it, so it’s all GREAT!